Colman Noctor: Shielding children from the barrage of bad news 

People will point out that other atrocities have happened throughout history, but the way children are exposed to coverage of these events is different now and needs to be considered. Psychologist Dana Rose Garvan at the University of California has found that traumatic exposures have compounding effects throughout our lifespan, particularly for children who have grown up in a post-9/11 society.

I grew up on the Dublin-Wicklow border in the 1980s, a few hours’ drive from The Troubles. While I knew that something was happening in the North by catching a glimpse of a car or building on fire on the six o’clock news, I was largely unaware of the details and had little or no insight into what it was all about. But this is not the world my children live in, as the coverage of war and crime is so widespread it is almost impossible to avoid. The presence of a 24-hour news cycle means far more exposure to national and international crises than before, be it on the car radio, social media posts, or talk shows that repeatedly cover the horrors of war.

As many children spend much of their free time online, news stories can also appear on their social feeds. It is customary for these pop-ups to take the form of clickbait posts, with many containing disturbing images or horrific headlines to attract the user’s attention and tempt them to click on the story.

Less is more

On the way to school last week, my eight-year-old son heard a discussion on the radio about the death toll of children in Gaza. The commentators were explaining how the Israelis were bombing hospitals thought to be shelters for Hamas.

“Why are people bombing hospitals and children being killed?” he asked me. I had no pre-prepared answer. I was acutely aware that it had not been long since I tried to explain why several Ukrainian children had joined his class.

I gave cobbled-together answers, explaining that two countries were fighting over land and these unfortunate children were caught up in the fighting. He then asked me who were the ‘goodies’ and the ‘baddies’ in the Gaza war, which was the same question he asked when I was trying to explain the Russian invasion of Ukraine.

“It’s complicated,”I told him.

This response was not a reflection of my political beliefs or lack of awareness of current affairs — it was merely an attempt to shut down the conversation. It was early in the morning, he was starting a new week at school, and I hadn’t had my coffee yet.

But in hindsight, saying very little about the war was probably the best option. I’m at the stage where I believe less is more when explaining these events to children. I want to shelter them from these awful events, and I need them to think they are growing up in a world of hope and opportunity, not a world of tyranny, hate, and hurt. While I want to encourage them to be socially conscious, I also want them to sleep at night.

We should judge how much we tell children about disturbing events based on their temperament rather than their age. It is too arbitrary to decide that 10-year-olds should be told so much and eight-year-olds even less. Children’s emotional development can vary, so judge how much information your child gets according to their capacity to manage it. For natural worriers, a “less-is-more” approach may be preferable, whereas inquisitive and robust children may be able to take on more detail.

Controlling their access to news via social media is challenging, but changing the radio station when young ears are in the car is a simple intervention. While I have been an advocate of including children in the goings on in the world around them, perhaps now is a time to offer them respite from these stories, especially those that involve horrific acts happening to other children.

Protecting innocence

Whatever their age and capacity to process disturbing news events, it’s critical they don’t lose hope in humanity and the world they live in. We need to protect the lens through which they see the world and although we may be aware that we are living in unprecedented times, they do not have the life experience to realise that.

I have decided there is a greater need to safeguard my children’s innocence than make them socially conscious activists. If we pass a pro-Palestine protest, I will draw their attention to it and show them an example of how the world can come together in solidarity with nations going through difficult times, but other than that, I believe they need to be shielded from the grim reality.

I might have had a different view if the Gaza crisis or the events in Parnell Square had happened in isolation. But given that so many tumultuous events have occurred in quick succession, I want to keep them from becoming resigned to life as a series of global crises. Obviously, with older children, there may need to be a more in-depth discussion about what’s happening in the world, but they too may need to be cared for.

The development of a social conscience does not only occur during a particular window of the developmental journey. As children reach their late teens, they will begin to form their views on the rights and wrongs of the social world. While it is important to instil values in children from a young age, there is no need to bombard them with details to ensure they grow up with an awareness of others and those more vulnerable than themselves. However, when it comes to younger children, they deserve to be shielded from the grim realities of life and there will be plenty of opportunity to shape their social conscience as they progress into adulthood.

It’s not only children who need to be sheltered from these atrocities. I have imposed a ban on myself from looking at disturbing images from Gaza. Some may interpret this as a lack of concern. On the contrary, I care deeply about what is happening. But as a self-protective strategy, I need to moderate my exposure to images of mutilated children being carried from the rubble and the stories of junior infant pupils being stabbed on their way out of school. It’s my way of caring for my mental health, and I feel compelled to do the same for my children.

• Dr Colman Noctor is a child psychotherapist