Joanna Fortune: Three-year-old wants to sleep in our bed since new baby arrived 

Now, imagine this process from the perspective of your three-year-old. His world has been upended, and he has to share you with this new baby he is still getting to know while trying to work out how he fits in. It can be overwhelming and he is allowed to struggle in this adjustment phase.

I imagine your son sees the new baby sleeping in your room, perhaps in a cot or a co-sleeper attached to your bed. This must be difficult for him. It’s natural he wants to be a part of this shared sleeping arrangement too. Some mild-moderate behavioural regression is not unusual in young children experiencing a big change in their lives. It is typically transient and context-specific, so when he adjusts to his new sibling and realises the baby is here for good or perhaps when the baby has woken him one too many times he will choose to return to his own bed.

If it’s essential he goes back to his bed, you could create a new ritual around bedtime. For example, suggest that he get his special time in your bed before sleeping in his bed. Your partner could take the baby while he gets into the bed with you, dressed in his pyjamas. You read his story together, sing a lullaby while you cuddle, rock him, and shower him with a nurturing connection for 15 minutes or so. Next, bring him to his bed, tuck him in, and ask him to close his eyes while you do a ‘top-to-toe’ goodnight (kiss his head, forehead, cheeks, nose, chin, chest, tummy, legs, feet and toes saying goodnight softly and slowly to each part) while his eyes stay closed. Ask him to keep his eyes closed so that he can catch a lovely dream and tell you about it over breakfast in the morning.

This way, you are topping up his ‘love cup’ before he separates from you for the night and will not need to come into your room seeking this connection during the night.

This episode of my podcast might be helpful during this stage: exa.mn/room-for-a-little-one