HIV+ advocate Aoife Commins: 'HIV does not discriminate'
Aoífe Commins: After receiving a diagnosis of HIV, the Galway healthcare professional has sought to address longstanding stigma around the condition. Pic: Hany Marzouk
“I went to my clinic in Galway, and I spoke with my nurse. I’d just come out of a long-term relationship, and I was feeling very lonely. I didn't know anyone else who was positive, and I was feeling very frustrated, and very let down about the fact that there was so much stigma, so little education around HIV. So I said, 'I need to do something'.”
On the other end of a Zoom call, Galwegian nurse and HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) advocate Aoife Commins is a ball of energy and enthusiasm, talking about what spurred her on to reach out to the PozVibe podcast, a regular online audio show for people with the immune condition in Ireland, in April of this year.
"I spoke with my nurse and she said, 'you should speak to [presenter] Robbie Lawlor, he's a massive HIV activist, he's huge in the community, he's done so much work for us, and just for stigma in general'. I saw he shared something about his podcast, so I started listening to the first few episodes and was like, 'this is amazing'. I messaged him and asked, 'could I maybe be a guest on your podcast?'."
Aoife received her diagnosis in 2020, after being exposed to the virus during a relationship during her time in Australia. Her ex-partner had tested negative during an initial window in which infection couldn’t be detected in tests, between one and three months after infection - something for which Aoife warns particular vigilance today - but it was at that time that exposure occurred.
Despite being given the emergency PEP (Post-Exposure Prophylaxis) treatment, Aoife began experiencing a short but profound bout of illness, with an eventual diagnosis and initial treatments happening amid the wider social and infrastructural turbulence of the covid crisis.
“The doctor came into the room, and said, 'you don't have cancer, you have HIV'. Of course, I was relieved, because as a nurse, I know HIV is easily treated. I was like, 'I know I'm going to be able to have kids. It's not going to be an issue. I know I'm not going to spread it to anyone because I'm going to be on my anti-retroviral (ART) treatment. I know I'm going to live a long and healthy life. I know I'm not going to get AIDS'.
“Getting that diagnosis was a complete relief, but as the weeks went on, the shock kicked in: 'who's going to love me, who's going to want to have sex with someone who's positive, everyone's gonna think I'm dirty, a slut’ - self-stigma, where you're your own worst enemy.”
In openly and honestly discussing her own story of infection, diagnosis, and seeking to deal with outdated attitudes, Aoife’s conversation with Lawlor and co-presenter Veda Lady went beyond the podcast’s usual listenership.
Aoife has subsequently appeared across print, television and radio, as part of her ongoing mission of advocacy, informing the public on life as a HIV+ person, and the changes that have occurred for people with the condition.
"I shared a clip of the podcast, and then typed out my piece," she says of sharing her appearance via her personal Instagram.
"It was terrifying. I was sitting in my little safe space in the house, and I just hit send, and I was on my own and my phone started blowing up instantly. I just started crying. It was a release of so much pent-up frustration and fear and stigma and anxiety, and it was so nice to get it out there. It was like, ‘this is it. There's no going back. I'm free.’”
Returning home, the professional anxiety of being a HIV+ healthcare professional spurred Aoife on to examine her feelings on the subject, as well as existing attitudes and lingering stigmas, rooted in fear created by the HIV/AIDS crisis of the 1980s and 1990s.
"I came back to Ireland, and I started working with some of the doctors that were treating me in our clinic in Galway, and I just started to feel this shame, this burning embarrassment, every time I saw any of them on the wards, like 'oh my god, they know my biggest secret'.
“I was like, 'I need to change this. Why do I feel this way? I have nothing to be ashamed of. I was an adult, I had sex, everyone has sex’. So when I broke up with my partner, I decided to change my life in the biggest way possible, and come out very publicly and openly about my status.”
Her own deconstruction of shame and embarrassment around her diagnosis comes amid a time of huge change for people with the condition, thanks to advancements made in the area.
Contrary to dated perceptions, people on modern HIV medication, whose viral load is so low as to be considered undetectable, are now at zero risk of spreading HIV - giving rise to the term ‘U=U’.
While Aoife was aware of the changes to the lives of HIV+ people, addressing those outdated perceptions and bringing attention to these developments didn’t come without its initial frustrations.
“I was seeing misinformation being spread. I was seeing people saying the wrong things [without being aware of Aoife’s diagnosis], like healthcare workers, a colleague of mine saying, 'I would never touch a HIV patient without gloves on', and I was like, 'what the f**k?'.”
While there’s doubtlessly a weight that comes with having to be among the people to go out of their way to address stigma and disinformation, Aoife is no stranger either to mental health advocacy or healthcare communication.
As a practising professional, she’s taken it upon herself to channel her experiences, adding her voice to a growing movement of advocacy and better information on the condition in the country.
“For me as a nurse, and for someone who has suffered from mental health issues in the past, it would be amazing if people just stop stigmatising me, stop judging. I get a lot of 'oh, she's a nurse, she should have known better, should have been safer'. People will jump to conclusions before they even hear my full story.
“My manager was worried that patients weren't going to want to work with me, were not going to want me to be their nurse, when they found out. It hasn't happened yet, but it's a fear. If everyone was just educated, and all this misinformation was eradicated, then it wouldn't be an issue.
"I'm never going to be able to educate everyone. I'm never going to be able to destigmatise everyone, there's going to be certain people that are going to see me as the devil, as someone who was irresponsible... you're not going to get to educate everyone, and I've accepted that. But if I can reach some people, even a handful of people, it's a win.”
Having discussed her diagnosis, and expressed her desire to further educate the public on HIV moving forward, Aoife addresses the question of what needs to change in Irish society, with an unmistakable verve and vigour.
“I think we need to go back to basics. We need to start in schools, educate from the bottom up, proper sex education, about healthy sex, safe sex, and consent. Go have all the sex you want - just practice safe sex, while HIV and other STIs are on the rise.
“I just feel like some people think they're invincible. 'It's never going to happen to me' - that mindset is something we need to break down, as well. ‘HIV does not discriminate’, is my f**king slogan.”
- For more information on HIV in Ireland, including free testing, e-learning, and information on support and advocacy, visit HIV Ireland at https://www.hivireland.ie/.
- Follow Aoife Commins on Instagram: @aoifecommins.
- The PozVibe Podcast, including Aoife’s appearance and interview, are available wherever you get your podcasts.
Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) is a serious, chronic illness that affects the body’s immune system, and requires treatment and management for life.
HIV attacks the CD4 or T-cells in the immune system, vital for mounting our bodies’ immune response, rendering them less able to fight off sickness and infections.
In order for HIV to be transmitted, it must get from the body of a HIV-positive person into the body of another person.
It be transmitted via unprotected sex (vaginal, anal & oral); blood-to-blood contact, like sharing contaminated needles, blood transfusions in countries where blood isn’t screened); and mother-to-baby contact (during pregnancy, childbirth or breastfeeding).
It be transmitted by: hugging, kissing or holding hands; toilet seats; sweat; sharing cutlery, plates, and cups; sharing a bath/swimming pool; mosquito bites; animal bites; working/going to school together.
A HIV-positive individual who is pursuing a full course of anti-retroviral treatment (ART) will experience a reduction of HIV antibodies in the bloodstream to levels deemed “undetectable”, and is at zero risk of transmitting the virus after six months - although it is recommended that HIV+ mothers do not breastfeed.
The only way to know your HIV status is via testing - free, confidential testing and check-ups are available from your nearest STI clinic, and from hivireland.ie.
The HIV test is a blood test that looks for HIV antibodies in your bloodstream.
It can take from one to three months after infection for HIV antibodies to show up in a person’s bloodstream and be detected in a test. If you test during this period you may need to return and re-test.
Having another STI can increase the chance of acquiring or transmitting HIV infection.
By getting tested and knowing your status you can: get the essential care and treatment necessary for living a healthy life with HIV; make informed decisions about preventing transmission; and protect your partner(s) as well as yourself.
The outcome of an HIV test affect a person’s legal status in Ireland.
All medical treatment for HIV is free in public hospitals in Ireland, including PrEP, PEP and ART.
For more information, and to debunk some more long-standing myths, go to https://www.hivireland.ie/.
