Breaking the ice in later life: It’s never too late to make new friends

School friends are precious because, with the passing of time, they are the ones who remember your parents and siblings, the house you grew up in, your classmates and so much that newer friends will never know. 

My school friend was, and still is, a year my senior. (That’s very important because, even in our late seventies, I will never be as old as she is!) 

We’ve always kept in touch and enjoy leisurely lunches, a reminisce and a good giggle. Making new friends does not diminish this bond in any way.

Seven or eight years ago lunching al fresco in a Tuscan farm, amid vines and lemon groves, new connections emerged between a disparate group of people who had just met a day or two earlier. 

We were all looking forward to the holiday highlight, the open-air performance of Puccini’s Madam Butterfly at Torre dl Lago.

A week later, as we parted at the airport vowing to keep in touch, this ‘Humming Chorus’ meant it. We’ve had Christmas dinners, and opera nights; and several have travelled together since. 

This summer Amsterdam and Bruges were the destinations, all organised by one of the guys who loves planning these sorts of things. 

It was perhaps on this trip that we had to accept that this group is no longer in the first flush of youth, despite how we feel about ourselves. 

It hit home when a staff member told us ‘It’s lovely to see old people like you travelling abroad and having such fun.’ ’Old people, like us!’ 

Now, we may have had one walking frame and a few thousand tablets between us, but old. Never! And certainly never too old to make new friends.

Escorted holidays can set the ball rolling and it was on one of these six years ago that we got chatting to two women that my companion had recognised at the airport. 

We were shown to our table — for six — and I asked the pair in the queue behind us, sisters from Cork, if they’d like to join us. We chatted and laughed together for the rest of the week as we got to know each other.

Since then we’ve benefitted from our free travel passes to meet for some great mini breaks together in places like Connemara, Fota and Youghal. 

In Kilkenny, we found ourselves in a taxi with a glitterball that changed colours as we sang along to ‘The Galway Girl’. The young ones with their hen parties had nothing on us. 

We’ve visited museums, galleries and exhibitions together, all outings that may not have happened if we hadn’t met.

Doctors say it’s important not to become creatures of habit. Expanding our horizons keeps life interesting. 

Trying something new is a challenge and will definitely expand your chances of meeting new people. You don’t have to be good at anything to enjoy it. 

And autumn is an ideal time to do this with a mesmerising variety of activities to be found all over the country.

Eleven years ago I enrolled in a daytime adult education watercolour class. With a diagnosis of Parkinson’s, I decided to try painting as a means of keeping the manual flexibility I had. I couldn’t paint. There I met Paula, who could.

Over a cup of coffee, I told her that despite my lack of talent I had always fancied the idea of going on a painting holiday. Another stranger said she loved that idea too. 

The following summer saw the three of us, totally out of our depth, in Olhao in Portugal, having the time of our lives. That class sowed the seeds of a genuine circle of real friendships, and a bit of art too.

It’s easy to feel intimidated about getting to know new people, but classes or groups of like-minded people make that much simpler than joining a club where everyone can have their own cliques. They probably haven’t, but it often seems so. 

All it takes is a timid suggestion: ‘Anyone fancy going for a coffee afterwards?’ ‘I was thinking of going to that new exhibition in the Crawford Gallery…’ ‘I’m a total beginner – are you all experts?”

The local libraries are a great place to start. Recently, fortnightly Scrabble sessions at mine caught my eye. I’ve only been once so far, but you never know who I’ll meet there over the tiles… Three to five real friends doesn’t seem to be nearly enough, no matter what the surveys say, but I do know that it’s never too late to make new friends.